If restaurants functioned like shrink-wrapped (Microsoft) software:
 
   Patron: Waiter!
 
   Waiter: Hi, my name is Bill, and I'll be your Support Waiter. What
           seems to be the problem?
 
   Patron: There's a fly in my soup!
 
   Waiter: Try again, maybe the fly won't be there this time.
 
   Patron: No, it's still there.
 
   Waiter: Maybe it's the way you're using the soup; try eating it
           with a fork instead.
 
   Patron: Even when I use the fork, the fly is still there.
 
   Waiter: Maybe the soup is incompatible with the bowl; what kind of
           bowl are  you using?
   Patron: A SOUP bowl!
 
   Waiter: Hmmm, that should work.  Maybe it's a configuration
           problem; how was the bowl set up?
 
   Patron: You brought it to me on a saucer; what has that to do with
           the fly in my soup?!

   Waiter: Can you remember everything you did before you noticed the
           fly in your soup?
 
   Patron: I sat down and ordered the Soup of the Day!
 
   Waiter: Have you considered upgrading to the latest Soup of the
           Day?
 
   Patron: You have more than one Soup of the Day each day??
 
   Waiter: Yes, the Soup of the Day is changed every hour.
 
   Patron: Well, what is the Soup of the Day now?
 
   Waiter: The current Soup of the Day is tomato.
 
   Patron: Fine.  Bring me the tomato soup, and the check.  I'm
           running late now.
 
   Waiter leaves and returns with another bowl of soup and the check?
 
   Waiter: Here you are, Sir.  The soup and your check.
 
   Patron: This is potato soup.
 
   Waiter: Yes, the tomato soup wasn't ready yet.
 
   Patron: Well, I'm so hungry now, I'll eat anything.
 
   Waiter leaves.
 
   Patron: Waiter!  There's a gnat in my soup!
 
 
   The check:
   Soup of the Day . ........... . . .   $5.00
   Upgrade to newer Soup of the Day. . . $2.50
   Access to support . . . . . . . . . . $1.00